jelq

#[derive(Clone, Copy, PartialEq, Eq, Debug)]

pub enum Item {

    WarmTowel,

    IcePack,

    Ruler,

    DoorLock,

    DndSign,

    Blinds,

    Pump,

    PumpPro,

    Extender,

    Ring,

    Supplement,

    Cage,

    CageKey,

    Spreadsheet,

    TeapotSpout,

    BabyOil,

    CoconutOil,

    Lotion,

    Vaseline,

    EnergyDrink,

}

pub const SHOP: [Item; 14] = [

    Item::Pump,

    Item::PumpPro,

    Item::Extender,

    Item::Ring,

    Item::Supplement,

    Item::DndSign,

    Item::Blinds,

    Item::Ruler,

    Item::IcePack,

    Item::CageKey,

    Item::BabyOil,

    Item::CoconutOil,

    Item::Lotion,

    Item::Vaseline,

];

impl Item {

    pub(super) const ALL: [Self; 20] = [

        Self::WarmTowel,

        Self::IcePack,

        Self::Ruler,

        Self::DoorLock,

        Self::DndSign,

        Self::Blinds,

        Self::Pump,

        Self::PumpPro,

        Self::Extender,

        Self::Ring,

        Self::Supplement,

        Self::Cage,

        Self::CageKey,

        Self::Spreadsheet,

        Self::TeapotSpout,

        Self::BabyOil,

        Self::CoconutOil,

        Self::Lotion,

        Self::Vaseline,

        Self::EnergyDrink,

    ];

    pub fn slug(self) -> &'static str {

        match self {

            Self::WarmTowel => "warm-towel",

            Self::IcePack => "ice-pack",

            Self::Ruler => "ruler",

            Self::DoorLock => "door-lock",

            Self::DndSign => "do-not-disturb-sign",

            Self::Blinds => "window-blinds",

            Self::Pump => "pump",

            Self::PumpPro => "pump-pro",

            Self::Extender => "extender",

            Self::Ring => "cock-ring",

            Self::Supplement => "supplement",

            Self::Cage => "chastity-cage",

            Self::CageKey => "cage-key",

            Self::Spreadsheet => "spreadsheet",

            Self::TeapotSpout => "teapot-spout",

            Self::BabyOil => "baby-oil",

            Self::CoconutOil => "coconut-oil",

            Self::Lotion => "lotion",

            Self::Vaseline => "vaseline",

            Self::EnergyDrink => "energy-drink",

        }

    }

    pub fn parse(slug: &str) -> Option<Self> {

        Self::ALL.into_iter().find(|item| item.slug() == slug)

    }

    pub fn description(self) -> &'static str {

        match self {

            Self::WarmTowel => {

                "Reusable. Satisfies the warm-up precondition. Use technique=warmup."

            }

            Self::IcePack => "Cools things sharply. Use technique=ice.",

            Self::Ruler => "Measures honestly. The length resource now carries a Content-Length.",

            Self::DoorLock => "Keeps your brother out once.",

            Self::DndSign => "Works on housekeeping. Mum does not read signs.",

            Self::Blinds => "The neighbour has a good camera. The blinds are better.",

            Self::Pump => "A pump.",

            Self::PumpPro => "Use technique=pump. Gains are temporary.",

            Self::Extender => "Passive gains each turn. Takes up room. Can be removed with DELETE.",

            Self::Ring => {

                "Girth gains doubled. Rupture risk raised. Responses are compressed if you accept gzip. Can be removed with DELETE."

            }

            Self::Supplement => "Use technique=supplement.",

            Self::Cage => "Locked.",

            Self::CageKey => "Pump-Bro does not ask.",

            Self::Spreadsheet => "Charts your progress. Every line is flat.",

            Self::TeapotSpout => "Does nothing. Cannot be dropped.",

            Self::BabyOil => "Smooth. +1. One unit per jelq.",

            Self::CoconutOil => "+3. Solid until it matters. Suspicious at Nan's.",

            Self::Lotion => {

                "Handy. +0, and it soaks in fast, so each jelq costs an extra stamina. Soothes a friction burn."

            }

            Self::Vaseline => "+2. Raises suspicion everywhere.",

            Self::EnergyDrink => "technique=energy. +3 stamina. Tastes like a battery.",

        }

    }

    pub fn pitch(self) -> &'static str {

        match self {

            Self::PumpPro => "A pump, but professional.",

            Self::Extender => "Passive gains every turn. Takes up room.",

            Self::Ring => "Doubles girth gains. Pump-Bro does not discuss the risks.",

            Self::Supplement => "Clinically formulated. Ships from overseas.",

            Self::DndSign => "Housekeeping respects it.",

            Self::Blinds => "The neighbour has a good camera.",

            Self::Ruler => "Pump-Bro does not recommend it.",

            Self::IcePack => "Cold.",

            _ => self.description(),

        }

    }

    pub fn receipt(self) -> &'static str {

        match self {

            Self::PumpPro => "The box says professional. The pump inside is the same pump.",

            Self::Extender => "It is fitted. It will be noticed when you sit down.",

            Self::Ring => "It is snug. Pump-Bro still does not discuss the risks.",

            Self::DndSign => "The sign is on the handle. Housekeeping can read.",

            Self::Blinds => "The blinds are down. Across the street, a lens is lowered.",

            Self::Ruler => "Pump-Bro looks away while you use it.",

            Self::IcePack => {

                "It came out of the chest freezer behind the counter. It is very cold."

            }

            Self::CageKey => "The cage is open. Pump-Bro does not ask, and neither should you.",

            Self::BabyOil => "Pump-Bro buys it in bulk. He does not have a baby.",

            Self::CoconutOil => "It is solid. It will not stay that way.",

            Self::Lotion => "Unscented, allegedly.",

            Self::Vaseline => "Everyone at the counter saw.",

            _ => "",

        }

    }

    pub fn price(self) -> Option<u32> {

        match self {

            Self::Pump => Some(10),

            Self::PumpPro | Self::Extender | Self::CageKey => Some(15),

            Self::Ring | Self::Ruler => Some(8),

            Self::IcePack => Some(7),

            Self::CoconutOil => Some(6),

            Self::Supplement | Self::Blinds => Some(5),

            Self::BabyOil | Self::Vaseline => Some(4),

            Self::DndSign | Self::Lotion => Some(3),

            Self::WarmTowel

            | Self::DoorLock

            | Self::Cage

            | Self::Spreadsheet

            | Self::TeapotSpout

            | Self::EnergyDrink => None,

        }

    }

}