jelq

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an http based roguelike rpg about jelqing

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Commit `c4d70621d377`

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atagen <boss@atagen.co>2026-10-12 11:59 UTC

11 files changed+159-81

game: tie up the loose ends the last review found

A prescription left the run alive and unrecorded forever, so it now
finishes the run as prescribed while the original ETag can still reach the
true ending. Raids make noise and the telling and the melon both scale
with suspicion, so a lucky streak cannot outrun the household. American
players were refused excuses the server itself had localised, because
only two phrases were mapped back and the comparison was case-sensitive,
which also meant "helping Nan" could never be accepted anywhere.

Modified file: src/game/balance.rs+6 additions−2 deletions@@ -81,10 +81,14 @@ pub const KITCHEN_ICE_ODDS: u32 = 8;
 pub const KETTLE_ODDS: u32 = 6;
 pub const ULI_READS: u8 = 2;
 pub const DRAWER_JAMS: u32 = 4;
-pub const KITCHEN_TOLD: u32 = 4;
+/// A telling is suspicion + 1 in this many, so a quiet house tolerates a raid and a noisy one does not.
+pub const KITCHEN_TOLD: u32 = 8;
+pub const RAID_NOISE: i32 = 1;
+pub const PATCH_EQ: i32 = 3;
 pub const KITCHEN_TELLINGS: u8 = 2;
 pub const WATERMELON: (u32, u32) = (2, 5);
-pub const CAUGHT_MELONED: u32 = 3;
+/// Caught with the melon is suspicion + 2 in this many.
+pub const CAUGHT_MELONED: u32 = 9;
 pub const MELON_SHAME: u32 = 5;
 pub const ENERGY_STAMINA: i32 = 3;
 pub const FRICTION_MAX: i32 = 10;

Modified file: src/game/body.rs+4 additions−1 deletions@@ -4,7 +4,7 @@ use serde_json::{Value, json};
 
 use super::{
     Grip, Outcome, Run,
-    balance::{EXAGGERATION, GIRTH_RESPECTED, GIRTH_THICK, LOCKER_ROOM_BAR, PUT_GAIN},
+    balance::{EXAGGERATION, GIRTH_RESPECTED, GIRTH_THICK, LOCKER_ROOM_BAR, PATCH_EQ, PUT_GAIN},
     etag_matches, honest,
 };
 use crate::problem::Problem;
@@ -36,7 +36,10 @@ impl Run {
         Outcome::json(StatusCode::OK, json!({ "detail": "Applied." }))
     }
 
+    /// Being measured is not arousing, so every PATCH costs a little EQ whatever it finds.
     pub fn patch(&mut self, ops: &[PatchOp]) -> Result<Outcome, Problem> {
+        self.reset_eq(self.eq - PATCH_EQ);
+        self.touch();
         for op in ops {
             if op.op != "test" {
                 return Err(Problem::new(

Modified file: src/game/clinic.rs+3 additions@@ -69,10 +69,13 @@ impl Run {
             "length;dur={:.2}, girth;dur={:.2}, foreskin;dur={foreskin:.2}, volume;desc=\"cubic inches\";dur={volume:.2}",
             self.length, self.girth
         );
+        self.clinic.prescribed = true;
+        self.touch();
         Ok(Outcome::json(
             StatusCode::OK,
             json!({
                 "diagnosis": "within normal range",
+                "detail": "Congratulations. You have been cured of a condition you never had. The run is over.",
                 "measured_length": round2(self.length),
                 "measured_girth": round2(self.girth),
                 "volume": round2(volume),

Modified file: src/game/household.rs+12 additions−2 deletions@@ -26,6 +26,11 @@ const CHRISTMAS_EXCUSES: [&str; 6] = [
     "helping Nan",
     "peeling sprouts",
 ];
+/// Every excuse Mum might hear, so a localised one can be traced back to the phrase she checks.
+pub fn vocabulary() -> impl Iterator<Item = &'static str> {
+    EXCUSES.into_iter().chain(CHRISTMAS_EXCUSES)
+}
+
 const TRUTHS: [&str; 3] = ["the truth", "truth", "honesty"];
 const TRUE_WHEN_PULLED: &str = "pulled a muscle";
 
@@ -75,7 +80,7 @@ impl Run {
         EXCUSES
             .into_iter()
             .chain(CHRISTMAS_EXCUSES)
-            .filter(|e| !self.heard.iter().any(|h| h == e))
+            .filter(|e| !self.heard.iter().any(|h| h.eq_ignore_ascii_case(e)))
             .collect()
     }
 
@@ -194,7 +199,12 @@ impl Run {
                 "Mum has heard that one before. She would have preferred the truth.",
             ))));
         }
-        if true_now || self.excuses().contains(&excuse.as_str()) {
+        if true_now
+            || self
+                .excuses()
+                .iter()
+                .any(|e| e.eq_ignore_ascii_case(&excuse))
+        {
             self.heard.push(excuse);
             self.leave_door();
             return Ok(());

Modified file: src/game/kitchen.rs+42 additions−41 deletions@@ -5,13 +5,13 @@ use super::{
     Cause, Floor, Item, Outcome, Run, Story,
     balance::{
         CAUGHT_MELONED, COCONUT_ODDS, ENERGY_ODDS, KETTLE_ODDS, KITCHEN_ICE_ODDS, KITCHEN_TELLINGS,
-        KITCHEN_TOLD, MELON_SHAME, RUPTURE_LINE, SUSPICION_LIMIT, WATERMELON,
+        KITCHEN_TOLD, MELON_SHAME, RAID_NOISE, RUPTURE_LINE, SUSPICION_LIMIT, WATERMELON,
     },
 };
 use crate::problem::Problem;
 
 impl Run {
-    /// Raid the fridge. It costs the floor turn like anything else, and the household keeps count.
+    /// The household keeps count, so every raid makes noise and the noise makes the next telling likelier.
     pub fn raid_kitchen(&mut self) -> Result<Outcome, Problem> {
         if !self.floor.has_kitchen() {
             return Err(Problem::new(
@@ -41,6 +41,7 @@ impl Run {
             return Err(self.rupture());
         }
         let was_below = self.suspicion < SUSPICION_LIMIT;
+        self.make_noise(RAID_NOISE);
         // One draw of 120 keeps the marginals at the documented 1 in 3, 1 in 5, 1 in 8 and 1 in 6.
         let loot = self.oracle.pick(
             self.decision("loot", "What does the fridge give up on this raid?"),
@@ -62,7 +63,7 @@ impl Run {
                 "Nothing. The fridge is ordinary.",
             ],
         );
-        let outcome = if self.eq > RUPTURE_LINE
+        let melon = self.eq > RUPTURE_LINE
             && self.oracle.ratio(
                 self.decision(
                     "watermelon",
@@ -70,43 +71,14 @@ impl Run {
                 ),
                 WATERMELON.0,
                 WATERMELON.1,
-            ) {
-            self.here.melon_offered = true;
-            self.melon_offer()
-        } else if loot == 0 {
-            self.items.grant(Item::CoconutOil);
-            Ok(Outcome::json(
-                StatusCode::OK,
-                json!({ "detail": "A jar of coconut oil, half of it already gone." }),
-            ))
-        } else if loot == 1 {
-            self.items.grant(Item::EnergyDrink);
-            Ok(Outcome::json(
-                StatusCode::OK,
-                json!({ "detail": "An energy drink, cold and faintly alarming." }),
-            ))
-        } else if loot == 2 {
-            self.items.grant(Item::IcePack);
-            Ok(Outcome::json(
-                StatusCode::OK,
-                json!({ "detail": "An ice pack, buried under the peas." }),
-            ))
-        } else if loot == 3 {
-            self.here.kettle_boiled = true;
-            Ok(Outcome::json(
-                StatusCode::OK,
-                json!({ "detail": "The kettle has just boiled. The towel can be warmed once more." }),
-            ))
-        } else {
-            Ok(Outcome::empty(StatusCode::NO_CONTENT))
-        };
+            );
         self.settle(was_below);
-        let outcome = outcome?;
-        if self.chance(
+        if self.oracle.ratio(
             self.decision(
                 "kitchen-told",
                 "Has the household had enough of the raiding?",
             ),
+            u32::from(self.suspicion) + 1,
             KITCHEN_TOLD,
         ) {
             self.kitchen_tellings += 1;
@@ -124,12 +96,40 @@ impl Run {
                 "Stop raiding the kitchen."
             });
         }
-        Ok(outcome)
+        if melon {
+            self.here.melon_offered = true;
+            return Ok(self.melon_offer());
+        }
+        Ok(self.unpack(loot))
     }
 
-    fn melon_offer(&self) -> Result<Outcome, Problem> {
+    fn unpack(&mut self, loot: usize) -> Outcome {
+        let (item, detail) = match loot {
+            0 => (
+                Item::CoconutOil,
+                "A jar of coconut oil, half of it already gone.",
+            ),
+            1 => (
+                Item::EnergyDrink,
+                "An energy drink, cold and faintly alarming.",
+            ),
+            2 => (Item::IcePack, "An ice pack, buried under the peas."),
+            3 => {
+                self.here.kettle_boiled = true;
+                return Outcome::json(
+                    StatusCode::OK,
+                    json!({ "detail": "The kettle has just boiled. The towel can be warmed once more." }),
+                );
+            }
+            _ => return Outcome::empty(StatusCode::NO_CONTENT),
+        };
+        self.items.grant(item);
+        Outcome::json(StatusCode::OK, json!({ "detail": detail }))
+    }
+
+    fn melon_offer(&self) -> Outcome {
         let commit = self.path("/kitchen/watermelon");
-        Ok(Outcome::json(
+        Outcome::json(
             StatusCode::MULTIPLE_CHOICES,
             json!({
                 "detail": "The fridge holds a watermelon. It is exactly the right shape.",
@@ -144,10 +144,10 @@ impl Run {
             format!(
                 "<{commit}>; rel=\"alternate\"; title=\"Commit to the watermelon\"; allow=\"POST\""
             ),
-        ))
+        )
     }
 
-    /// The watermelon. It empties EQ, keeps the gains, costs shame, and the household may notice.
+    /// A bail-out that costs no turn. The more the household has already heard, the likelier Mum is in the doorway.
     pub fn commit_melon(&mut self) -> Result<Outcome, Problem> {
         if !self.here.melon_offered {
             return Err(Problem::new(
@@ -160,11 +160,12 @@ impl Run {
         self.reset_eq(0);
         self.shame += MELON_SHAME;
         self.touch();
-        if self.chance(
+        if self.oracle.ratio(
             self.decision(
                 "caught-meloned",
                 "Is Mum standing in the doorway as you look up?",
             ),
+            u32::from(self.suspicion) + 2,
             CAUGHT_MELONED,
         ) {
             return Err(self.end(Cause::Meloned));

Modified file: src/game/mod.rs+13 additions−7 deletions@@ -17,10 +17,12 @@ mod utility;
 
 pub use body::{PatchOp, volume};
 pub use forum::{ELDER_LAST_MODIFIED, FORUM_THREAD, forum_thread};
+pub use household::vocabulary as excuse_vocabulary;
 pub use items::{Item, Items, SHOP};
 pub use outcome::{Outcome, Payload};
 pub use state::{
-    Cause, Clinic, Conditions, Elder, Ending, Floor, FloorState, Grip, MumVisit, Observer, Story,
+    Cause, Clinic, Conditions, Elder, Ending, Floor, FloorState, Grip, MumVisit, Observer,
+    RunStatus, Story,
 };
 pub use techniques::{LUBRICANTS, Lube, Technique};
 
@@ -351,11 +353,15 @@ impl Run {
         Some((filmed, age))
     }
 
-    pub fn status(&self) -> &'static str {
-        match (&self.ended, self.clinic.cured) {
-            (Some(_), _) => "gone",
-            (None, true) => "normal",
-            (None, false) => "alive",
+    pub fn status(&self) -> RunStatus {
+        if self.ended.is_some() {
+            RunStatus::Gone
+        } else if self.clinic.cured {
+            RunStatus::Normal
+        } else if self.clinic.prescribed {
+            RunStatus::Prescribed
+        } else {
+            RunStatus::Alive
         }
     }
 
@@ -374,7 +380,7 @@ impl Run {
         .collect();
         json!({
             "public_id": self.public_id,
-            "status": self.status(),
+            "status": self.status().name(),
             "turn": self.turn,
             "run_shame": self.shame,
             "grip": self.grip.name(),

Modified file: src/game/state.rs+25 additions@@ -177,6 +177,7 @@ pub enum Elder {
 pub struct Clinic {
     pub intake_attempts: usize,
     pub measured: bool,
+    pub prescribed: bool,
     pub cured: bool,
 }
 
@@ -257,6 +258,30 @@ impl Cause {
     }
 }
 
+#[derive(Clone, Copy, PartialEq, Eq, Debug)]
+pub enum RunStatus {
+    Alive,
+    Prescribed,
+    /// The true ending, the clinic's `304`.
+    Normal,
+    Gone,
+}
+
+impl RunStatus {
+    pub fn name(self) -> &'static str {
+        match self {
+            Self::Alive => "alive",
+            Self::Prescribed => "prescribed",
+            Self::Normal => "normal",
+            Self::Gone => "gone",
+        }
+    }
+
+    pub fn finished(self) -> bool {
+        self != Self::Alive
+    }
+}
+
 pub struct Ending {
     pub cause: Cause,
     pub turn: u32,

Modified file: src/game/turn.rs+27 additions−21 deletions@@ -124,6 +124,7 @@ impl Run {
         self.floor_enemy()?;
         self.take_lube(lube)?;
         self.chafe(lube, intensity);
+        self.chafe(lube, intensity);
         self.commit(intensity, lube, 2);
         for training in [a, b] {
             if let ControlFlow::Break(interrupted) = self.mishaps(training, intensity)? {
@@ -397,22 +398,11 @@ impl Run {
         );
         self.eq = (self.eq + intensity * 2 - 6 - chill + wobble).clamp(0, 100);
 
-        let mut suspicion = intensity / 5 + i32::from(lube == Some(Lube::Vaseline));
-        let doubled = match self.floor {
-            Floor::Nans => true,
-            Floor::ChangingRoom => !self.holds_own_in_the_locker_room(),
-            _ => false,
-        };
-        if doubled {
-            suspicion *= 2;
-        }
+        let was_below = self.suspicion < SUSPICION_LIMIT;
+        self.make_noise(intensity / 5 + i32::from(lube == Some(Lube::Vaseline)));
         if self.floor == Floor::Nans && lube == Some(Lube::CoconutOil) {
-            suspicion += 2;
+            self.add_suspicion(2);
         }
-        let was_below = self.suspicion < SUSPICION_LIMIT;
-        self.suspicion =
-            u8::try_from((i32::from(self.suspicion) + suspicion).min(i32::from(SUSPICION_LIMIT)))
-                .unwrap_or(SUSPICION_LIMIT);
 
         if intensity >= PULLED_MUSCLE_INTENSITY
             && !self.conditions.pulled_muscle
@@ -427,6 +417,21 @@ impl Run {
         self.settle(was_below);
     }
 
+    pub(super) fn make_noise(&mut self, noise: i32) {
+        let doubled = match self.floor {
+            Floor::Nans => true,
+            Floor::ChangingRoom => !self.holds_own_in_the_locker_room(),
+            _ => false,
+        };
+        self.add_suspicion(if doubled { noise * 2 } else { noise });
+    }
+
+    fn add_suspicion(&mut self, amount: i32) {
+        self.suspicion =
+            u8::try_from((i32::from(self.suspicion) + amount).clamp(0, i32::from(SUSPICION_LIMIT)))
+                .unwrap_or(SUSPICION_LIMIT);
+    }
+
     /// The part of a turn the house takes part in, whatever the action was.
     pub(super) fn settle(&mut self, was_below: bool) {
         self.maybe_summon_mum(was_below);
@@ -493,7 +498,6 @@ impl Run {
         self.touch();
         self.turn += 1;
         self.here.turns += 1;
-        self.step_away();
         self.realise();
         if self.oracle.chance_not(
             self.decision("rupture", "The pause is uneventful"),
@@ -506,10 +510,12 @@ impl Run {
             self.recover();
             self.shed(FRICTION_HOLD);
             self.settle(was_below);
-            return Ok(Outcome::json(
-                StatusCode::OK,
-                json!({ "detail": "The count went well past ten. Stamina is back. Everything else has gone quiet, and you are cold again." }),
-            ));
+            let detail = if self.conditions.priapism_turns > 0 {
+                "The count went well past ten. Stamina is back. It went down a little. Maybe. You hope."
+            } else {
+                "The count went well past ten. Stamina is back. Everything else has gone quiet, and you are cold again."
+            };
+            return Ok(Outcome::json(StatusCode::OK, json!({ "detail": detail })));
         }
         if self.chance(
             self.decision(
@@ -610,7 +616,6 @@ impl Run {
             _ => 0,
         };
         let arrival = if self.here.warm_arrival {
-            self.here.warm_arrival = false;
             ARRIVAL_BONUS
         } else {
             0
@@ -632,6 +637,7 @@ impl Run {
         if natural == 1 {
             return Err(timed(self.critical_failure(training, &profile)));
         }
+        self.here.warm_arrival = false;
         if natural == 2 && self.eq > DANGER_EQ - burn {
             return Err(timed(self.rupture()));
         }
@@ -765,7 +771,7 @@ impl Run {
     }
 
     fn gossip(&mut self, mut outcome: Outcome) -> Outcome {
-        let reportable = matches!(outcome.status.as_u16(), 200 | 202 | 206);
+        let reportable = matches!(outcome.status.as_u16(), 200 | 202 | 206 | 308);
         if !self.here.brother_told || !reportable {
             return outcome;
         }

Modified file: src/http/run.rs+1−1

@@ -70,7 +70,7 @@ pub fn serve(state: &AppState, mut ctx: Ctx, target: &RunResource) -> Response {

7070 let response =

7171 gate(run, &ctx, target.scope).unwrap_or_else(|| target.resource.dispatch(run, &ctx));

7272 let response = finish(run, &ctx, &state.config.secret, response);

73- if run.ended.is_some() || run.clinic.cured {

73+ if run.status().finished() {

7474 state.records.save(&Record::of(run));

7575 }

7676 let ended = run.ended.is_some();

Modified file: src/locale.rs+25 additions−5 deletions@@ -52,8 +52,6 @@ const EN_AU: &[(&str, &str)] = &[
     ("£", "$"),
 ];
 
-const EXCUSES: &[&str] = &["wrapping presents", "folding the washing"];
-
 fn bounded(text: &str, at: usize, len: usize) -> bool {
     let before = text[..at].chars().next_back();
     let after = text[at + len..].chars().next();
@@ -62,9 +60,19 @@ fn bounded(text: &str, at: usize, len: usize) -> bool {
 }
 
 fn replace_words(text: &str, from: &str, to: &str) -> String {
+    replace_matching(text, text, from, to)
+}
+
+/// Players type excuses in whatever case they like. ASCII lowering keeps byte offsets intact.
+fn replace_words_ignoring_case(text: &str, from: &str, to: &str) -> String {
+    let lowered = text.to_ascii_lowercase();
+    replace_matching(text, &lowered, &from.to_ascii_lowercase(), to)
+}
+
+fn replace_matching(text: &str, haystack: &str, from: &str, to: &str) -> String {
     let mut out = String::with_capacity(text.len());
     let mut rest = 0;
-    for (at, _) in text.match_indices(from) {
+    for (at, _) in haystack.match_indices(from) {
         if at < rest || !bounded(text, at, from.len()) {
             continue;
         }
@@ -133,8 +141,12 @@ impl Locale {
     /// Translates the excuses a player types back into the en-GB phrases the game checks against.
     pub fn canonicalise(self, text: &str) -> String {
         let local = |excuse: &str| self.localise(excuse);
-        EXCUSES.iter().fold(text.to_owned(), |text, excuse| {
-            replace_words(&text, &local(excuse), excuse)
+        crate::game::excuse_vocabulary().fold(text.to_owned(), |text, excuse| {
+            let localised = local(excuse);
+            if localised == excuse {
+                return text;
+            }
+            replace_words_ignoring_case(&text, &localised, excuse)
         })
     }
 
@@ -191,5 +203,13 @@ mod tests {
             Locale::American.canonicalise("Digest username=\"carving the turkey\""),
             "Digest username=\"wrapping presents\""
         );
+        assert_eq!(
+            Locale::American.canonicalise("Excuse \"Studying\""),
+            "Excuse \"revising\""
+        );
+        assert_eq!(
+            Locale::American.canonicalise("Excuse \"helping grandma\""),
+            "Excuse \"helping Nan\""
+        );
     }
 }

Modified file: src/records.rs+1−1

@@ -55,7 +55,7 @@ impl Record {

5555 id: run.id.clone(),

5656 public_id: run.public_id.clone(),

5757 seeded: run.seeded,

58- status: run.status().to_owned(),

58+ status: run.status().name().to_owned(),

5959 ending: run.ended.as_ref().map(|ending| Ending {

6060 cause: ending.cause.slug().to_owned(),

6161 detail: ending.cause.detail().to_owned(),

jelq

Commit c4d70621d377

Commit `c4d70621d377`