jelq

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an http based roguelike rpg about jelqing

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Commit `bf5f8cb6f60f`

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atagen <boss@atagen.co>2026-10-13 12:14 UTC

14 files changed+48-71

game: define cold as EQ under 30

Cold was two things. A towel flag that only the towel could set, so a run cold after its refractory period paid the cold tax on every jelq for the rest of the floor, and a 404 below 30 EQ that refused jelqs and edges outright. Now cold is just EQ under 30. Cold jelqs pay the tax but still roll, and edging climbs out untaxed.

Modified file: src/game/body.rs−2 deletions@@ -17,7 +17,6 @@ pub struct Body {
     pub(crate) grip: Grip,
     /// The grip of the last stroke, which decides whether this one gets the switching discount.
     pub(crate) jelq_grip: Option<Grip>,
-    pub(crate) warmed_up: bool,
     pub(crate) exhausted: bool,
     pub(crate) put_applied: bool,
     pub(crate) conditions: Conditions,
@@ -36,7 +35,6 @@ impl Body {
             friction: 0,
             grip: Grip::Overhand,
             jelq_grip: None,
-            warmed_up: false,
             exhausted: false,
             put_applied: false,
             conditions: Conditions::default(),

Modified file: src/game/dispatch.rs+7 additions−5 deletions@@ -84,9 +84,10 @@ impl Run {
         self.lube_available(lube)?;
         self.floor_enemy()?;
         self.take_lube(lube)?;
-        self.chafe(lube, intensity);
+        let cold = self.cold();
+        self.chafe(lube, intensity, cold);
         self.commit(intensity, lube, 1);
-        if let ControlFlow::Break(interrupted) = self.mishaps(training, intensity)? {
+        if let ControlFlow::Break(interrupted) = self.mishaps(training, intensity, cold)? {
             return Ok(interrupted);
         }
         if let ControlFlow::Break(interrupted) = self.hazards(intensity)? {
@@ -116,11 +117,12 @@ impl Run {
         self.lube_available(lube)?;
         self.floor_enemy()?;
         self.take_lube(lube)?;
-        self.chafe(lube, intensity);
-        self.chafe(lube, intensity);
+        let cold = self.cold();
+        self.chafe(lube, intensity, cold);
+        self.chafe(lube, intensity, cold);
         self.commit(intensity, lube, 2);
         for training in [a, b] {
-            if let ControlFlow::Break(interrupted) = self.mishaps(training, intensity)? {
+            if let ControlFlow::Break(interrupted) = self.mishaps(training, intensity, cold)? {
                 return Ok(interrupted);
             }
         }

Modified file: src/game/hazards.rs+11 additions−9 deletions@@ -41,8 +41,17 @@ impl Run {
         }
     }
 
-    pub(super) fn mishaps(&mut self, training: Training, intensity: i32) -> Interruption {
-        if !self.body.warmed_up {
+    pub(super) fn cold(&self) -> bool {
+        self.body.eq < COLD_EQ
+    }
+
+    pub(super) fn mishaps(
+        &mut self,
+        training: Training,
+        intensity: i32,
+        cold: bool,
+    ) -> Interruption {
+        if cold {
             if !self.notices.contains(&Notice::ColdStart) {
                 self.notices.push(Notice::ColdStart);
             }
@@ -155,13 +164,6 @@ impl Run {
                 "The floor has ended early. Everyone involved has agreed not to discuss it.",
             ));
         }
-        if self.body.eq < COLD_EQ {
-            return Err(Problem::new(
-                StatusCode::NOT_FOUND,
-                "cold",
-                "The resource exists. It is cold.",
-            ));
-        }
         Ok(ControlFlow::Continue(()))
     }
 

Modified file: src/game/notice.rs+1−1

@@ -29,7 +29,7 @@ impl Notice {

2929 Self::ThreadHasReplies => "Somewhere, a forum thread from 2009 still has replies.",

3030 Self::Reflection => "the count reached ten, and then the reflection started",

3131 Self::MumSatisfied => "Mum seems satisfied. She takes the washing with her.",

32- Self::ColdStart => "Warm-up was skipped. The server has noted this.",

32+ Self::ColdStart => "Cold start. The server has noted this.",

3333 }

3434 }

3535 }

Modified file: src/game/progress.rs+2 additions−2 deletions@@ -10,7 +10,7 @@ use super::{
 };
 
 impl Run {
-    pub(super) fn chafe(&mut self, lube: Option<Lube>, intensity: i32) {
+    pub(super) fn chafe(&mut self, lube: Option<Lube>, intensity: i32, cold: bool) {
         let (base, slip) = match lube {
             None => (FRICTION_DRY, 0),
             Some(Lube::Spit) => (FRICTION_SPIT, 0),
@@ -31,7 +31,7 @@ impl Run {
         {
             friction -= FRICTION_GRIP;
         }
-        if !self.body.warmed_up {
+        if cold {
             friction += FRICTION_COLD;
         }
         self.body.jelq_grip = Some(self.body.grip);

Modified file: src/game/run.rs+1 additions−4 deletions@@ -219,10 +219,9 @@ impl Run {
             }
         }
         s.push_str(&format!(
-            "suspicion: {}\nshame: {}\nwarmed up: {}\ngrip: {}\n",
+            "suspicion: {}\nshame: {}\ngrip: {}\n",
             self.standing.suspicion,
             self.standing.shame,
-            if self.body.warmed_up { "yes" } else { "no" },
             self.body.grip.name(),
         ));
         let held: Vec<&str> = self.items.owned().iter().map(|item| item.slug()).collect();
@@ -314,7 +313,6 @@ impl Run {
             "turn": self.turn,
             "run_shame": self.standing.shame,
             "grip": self.body.grip.name(),
-            "warmed_up": self.body.warmed_up,
             "ranked": !self.ident.seeded,
             "conditions": conditions,
         })
@@ -333,7 +331,6 @@ impl Run {
         self.body.exhausted = false;
         self.body.stamina = self.max_stamina();
         self.reset_eq(STARTING_EQ);
-        self.body.warmed_up = false;
     }
 
     pub(super) fn check_exhausted(&self) -> Result<(), Problem> {

Modified file: src/game/travel.rs−1

@@ -28,7 +28,6 @@ impl Run {

2828 warm_arrival: warm,

2929 ..FloorState::default()

3030 };

31- self.body.warmed_up = false;

3231 self.reset_eq(STARTING_EQ);

3332 self.standing.suspicion = 0;

3433 self.shed(FRICTION_FLOOR);

Modified file: src/game/utility.rs+1 additions−2 deletions@@ -61,7 +61,6 @@ impl Run {
             self.here.kitchen.kettle_boiled = false;
         }
         self.here.towel_warmed = true;
-        self.body.warmed_up = true;
         self.body.eq = (self.body.eq + boost).min(100);
         Ok(Outcome::json(StatusCode::OK, json!({ "detail": detail })))
     }
@@ -147,7 +146,7 @@ impl Run {
     }
 
     pub(super) fn edge(&mut self) -> Result<Outcome, Problem> {
-        self.chafe(None, 5);
+        self.chafe(None, 5, false);
         self.commit(5, None, 1);
         if let ControlFlow::Break(interrupted) = self.hazards(5)? {
             return Ok(interrupted);

Modified file: src/tests/body.rs+4 additions−15 deletions@@ -100,8 +100,8 @@ async fn the_displayed_length_is_accepted_as_honest() {
 
 #[tokio::test]
 async fn dry_jelqs_build_friction_and_real_lube_does_not() {
-    let app = seeded_with(Floor::Bedroom, |run| {
-        run.body.warmed_up = true;
+    let app = seeded_with(Floor::ChangingRoom, |run| {
+        run.body.eq = 60;
         run.items.lubes.baby_oil = 1;
         run.body.foreskin = Some(0.9);
     });
@@ -131,8 +131,8 @@ async fn dry_jelqs_build_friction_and_real_lube_does_not() {
 
 #[tokio::test]
 async fn switching_grips_makes_the_friction_cheaper() {
-    let app = seeded_with(Floor::Bedroom, |run| {
-        run.body.warmed_up = true;
+    let app = seeded_with(Floor::ChangingRoom, |run| {
+        run.body.eq = 60;
         run.body.foreskin = Some(0.9);
     });
     let dry = send(&app, "JELQ", "/runs/cafebabe?technique=dry", &[], "").await;
@@ -185,12 +185,10 @@ async fn a_friction_burn_halves_the_gains() {
     let path = "/runs/cafebabe?technique=wet&intensity=5";
     for seed in 0..60u64 {
         let steady = app_with(Floor::Bedroom, seed, |run| {
-            run.body.warmed_up = true;
             run.body.eq = 60;
             run.items.lubes.baby_oil = 9;
         });
         let hurt_app = app_with(Floor::Bedroom, seed, |run| {
-            run.body.warmed_up = true;
             run.body.eq = 60;
             run.items.lubes.baby_oil = 9;
             run.body.conditions.friction_burn = true;
@@ -214,7 +212,6 @@ async fn a_friction_burn_halves_the_gains() {
 #[tokio::test]
 async fn the_burn_warns_and_the_ice_treats_it() {
     let app = seeded_with(Floor::Bedroom, |run| {
-        run.body.warmed_up = true;
         run.body.eq = 60;
         run.items.lubes.baby_oil = 9;
         run.body.friction = 7;
@@ -253,7 +250,6 @@ async fn friction_rises_with_vigour_and_edging_chafes() {
     for (intensity, friction) in [(5, "1/10"), (7, "2/10"), (10, "3/10")] {
         let app = seeded_with(Floor::Hotel, |run| {
             run.here.wifi_accepted = true;
-            run.body.warmed_up = true;
             run.body.eq = 55;
             run.body.foreskin = Some(0.5);
         });
@@ -267,7 +263,6 @@ async fn friction_rises_with_vigour_and_edging_chafes() {
     }
     let app = seeded_with(Floor::Hotel, |run| {
         run.here.wifi_accepted = true;
-        run.body.warmed_up = true;
         run.body.eq = 55;
         run.body.foreskin = Some(0.5);
     });
@@ -282,7 +277,6 @@ async fn the_body_changes_how_the_skin_takes_it() {
     {
         let app = seeded_with(Floor::Hotel, |run| {
             run.here.wifi_accepted = true;
-            run.body.warmed_up = true;
             run.body.eq = 55;
             run.body.foreskin = Some(foreskin);
             run.body.girth = girth;
@@ -309,7 +303,6 @@ async fn a_thick_girth_outgrows_the_underhand_grip() {
 #[tokio::test]
 async fn a_long_run_fills_the_jeans_before_a_thick_one() {
     let app = seeded_with(Floor::Bedroom, |run| {
-        run.body.warmed_up = true;
         run.items.kit.extender = true;
         run.body.girth = 4.8;
         run.body.length = 7.5;
@@ -322,7 +315,6 @@ async fn a_long_run_fills_the_jeans_before_a_thick_one() {
 #[tokio::test]
 async fn a_refused_jelq_leaves_the_lube_alone() {
     let app = seeded_with(Floor::Bedroom, |run| {
-        run.body.warmed_up = true;
         run.items.kit.extender = true;
         run.body.girth = 6.0;
         run.body.length = 6.0;
@@ -346,7 +338,6 @@ async fn a_refused_jelq_leaves_the_lube_alone() {
 #[tokio::test]
 async fn lubes_run_out_but_spit_never_does() {
     let app = seeded_with(Floor::Bedroom, |run| {
-        run.body.warmed_up = true;
         run.items.lubes.baby_oil = 1;
     });
     let lube = [("content-type", "application/baby-oil")];
@@ -384,7 +375,6 @@ async fn patching_costs_a_little_eq() {
 async fn a_combo_chafes_twice_and_costs_two_stamina() {
     let app = seeded_with(Floor::Hotel, |run| {
         run.here.wifi_accepted = true;
-        run.body.warmed_up = true;
         run.body.eq = 55;
         run.body.foreskin = Some(0.5);
     });
@@ -421,7 +411,6 @@ async fn stretching_reports_the_foreskin_it_grew() {
     let mut landed = 0;
     for seed in 0..40u64 {
         let app = app_with(Floor::Bedroom, seed, |run| {
-            run.body.warmed_up = true;
             run.body.eq = 60;
             run.body.foreskin = Some(1.0);
         });

Modified file: src/tests/floors.rs+1 additions−7 deletions@@ -115,7 +115,6 @@ async fn caged_drawers_are_noisy_and_eventually_give_up_the_key() {
 async fn an_open_tab_is_linked_and_jelq_still_answers_with_choices() {
     let app = seeded_with(Floor::Bathroom, |run| {
         run.online.story = Story::Pending;
-        run.body.warmed_up = true;
     });
     let response = send(&app, "GET", "/runs/cafebabe", &[], "").await;
     let links = header(&response, "link");
@@ -131,7 +130,6 @@ async fn either_story_choice_is_reachable_during_cooldown() {
     for choice in ["forum", "close-tab"] {
         let app = seeded_with(Floor::Bathroom, |run| {
             run.turn = 9;
-            run.body.warmed_up = true;
             run.body.eq = 45;
             run.body.stamina = 1;
             run.items.stores.door_locks = 1;
@@ -157,7 +155,6 @@ async fn either_story_choice_is_reachable_during_cooldown() {
 async fn the_thread_announces_itself_at_the_branch() {
     let app = seeded_with(Floor::Bathroom, |run| {
         run.turn = 8;
-        run.body.warmed_up = true;
         run.items.lubes.baby_oil = 9;
     });
     send(
@@ -196,7 +193,6 @@ async fn reading_the_thread_teaches_uli() {
     for seed in 0..100u64 {
         let app = app_with(Floor::Bedroom, seed, |run| {
             run.turn = BRANCH_TURN;
-            run.body.warmed_up = true;
             run.online.story = Story::ClosedTab;
             run.online.meditation_taught = true;
         });
@@ -235,7 +231,7 @@ async fn reading_the_thread_teaches_uli() {
 
 #[tokio::test]
 async fn the_thread_cannot_be_read_before_anyone_mentions_it() {
-    let app = seeded_with(Floor::Bedroom, |run| run.body.warmed_up = true);
+    let app = seeded_with(Floor::Bedroom, |_| {});
     let read = send(&app, "GET", "/runs/cafebabe/thread", &[], "").await;
     assert_eq!(read.status(), StatusCode::NOT_FOUND);
     let after = send(&app, "GET", "/runs/cafebabe", &[], "").await;
@@ -439,7 +435,6 @@ async fn the_foreskin_window_has_hard_edges() {
     ] {
         let app = seeded_with(Floor::Hotel, |run| {
             run.here.wifi_accepted = true;
-            run.body.warmed_up = true;
             run.body.eq = 55;
             run.body.foreskin = Some(foreskin);
         });
@@ -461,7 +456,6 @@ async fn the_forum_teaches_breathing_before_uli() {
     for seed in 0..100u64 {
         let app = app_with(Floor::Bedroom, seed, |run| {
             run.turn = BRANCH_TURN;
-            run.body.warmed_up = true;
             run.online.story = Story::Pending;
         });
         let listed = json(send(&app, "GET", "/runs/cafebabe/techniques", &[], "").await).await;

Modified file: src/tests/household.rs−3 deletions@@ -154,7 +154,6 @@ async fn mom_speaks_american() {
 #[tokio::test]
 async fn an_empty_bottle_is_declined_before_the_enemy_stirs() {
     let control = seeded_with(Floor::ChangingRoom, |run| {
-        run.body.warmed_up = true;
         run.standing.suspicion = SUSPICION_LIMIT;
     });
     let lube = [("content-type", "application/baby-oil")];
@@ -169,7 +168,6 @@ async fn an_empty_bottle_is_declined_before_the_enemy_stirs() {
     assert_eq!(caught.status(), StatusCode::UNAVAILABLE_FOR_LEGAL_REASONS);
 
     let app = seeded_with(Floor::ChangingRoom, |run| {
-        run.body.warmed_up = true;
         run.standing.suspicion = SUSPICION_LIMIT;
         run.items.lubes.baby_oil = 0;
     });
@@ -191,7 +189,6 @@ async fn an_empty_bottle_is_declined_before_the_enemy_stirs() {
 async fn respectable_girth_waves_off_the_gym_staff() {
     let staff = |girth: f64| {
         seeded_with(Floor::ChangingRoom, move |run| {
-            run.body.warmed_up = true;
             run.body.eq = 45;
             run.body.girth = girth;
             run.standing.suspicion = SUSPICION_LIMIT;

Modified file: src/tests/methods.rs+2 additions−4 deletions@@ -31,13 +31,11 @@ async fn bodies_do_not_repeat_the_headers() {
 async fn jelqing_cold_goes_through_at_a_price() {
     let friction = async |warm: bool| {
         let app = seeded_with(Floor::Bedroom, |run| {
-            run.body.warmed_up = warm;
+            run.body.eq = if warm { 40 } else { 20 };
             run.body.foreskin = Some(1.0);
         });
         let response = send(&app, "JELQ", "/runs/cafebabe?technique=stretch", &[], "").await;
-        let noted = warnings(&response)
-            .iter()
-            .any(|w| w.contains("Warm-up was skipped"));
+        let noted = warnings(&response).iter().any(|w| w.contains("Cold start"));
         assert_eq!(noted, !warm);
         header(&response, "x-friction").to_owned()
     };

Modified file: src/tests/rolls.rs+1 additions−5 deletions@@ -30,7 +30,6 @@ async fn the_burn_shifts_the_rupture_tiers() {
         let mut gone = 0;
         for seed in 0..400u64 {
             let app = app_with(Floor::Bedroom, seed, |run| {
-                run.body.warmed_up = true;
                 run.body.eq = 60;
                 run.items.lubes.baby_oil = 9;
                 run.body.conditions.friction_burn = burned;
@@ -64,7 +63,6 @@ async fn the_top_tier_rolls_a_single_third() {
     let mut early = 0;
     for seed in 0..400u64 {
         let app = app_with(Floor::Bedroom, seed, |run| {
-            run.body.warmed_up = true;
             run.body.eq = 96;
             run.items.lubes.baby_oil = 9;
             run.items.kit.blinds = true;
@@ -100,7 +98,6 @@ async fn holding_rolls_a_flat_rupture_chance() {
         let mut gone = 0;
         for seed in 0..600u64 {
             let app = app_with(Floor::Bedroom, seed, |run| {
-                run.body.warmed_up = true;
                 run.body.eq = eq;
                 run.body.stamina = stamina;
             });
@@ -178,7 +175,6 @@ async fn degloving_takes_one_hard_dry_stroke_in_twenty() {
     for seed in 0..1200u64 {
         let app = app_with(Floor::Hotel, seed, |run| {
             run.here.wifi_accepted = true;
-            run.body.warmed_up = true;
             run.body.eq = 55;
             run.body.foreskin = Some(1.0);
         });
@@ -211,7 +207,7 @@ async fn degloving_takes_one_cold_stroke_in_twenty() {
     for seed in 0..1200u64 {
         let app = app_with(Floor::Hotel, seed, |run| {
             run.here.wifi_accepted = true;
-            run.body.eq = 55;
+            run.body.eq = 20;
             run.body.foreskin = Some(1.0);
         });
         let cold = send(&app, "JELQ", "/runs/cafebabe?technique=stretch", &[], "").await;

Modified file: src/tests/turns.rs+17 additions−11 deletions@@ -27,7 +27,6 @@ async fn meditation_respects_the_priapism_floor() {
 #[tokio::test]
 async fn priapism_holds_the_floor_through_every_reset() {
     let exit = seeded_with(Floor::Bedroom, |run| {
-        run.body.warmed_up = true;
         run.body.eq = 90;
         run.here.turns = 99;
         run.body.conditions.priapism_turns = 3;
@@ -70,7 +69,6 @@ async fn the_towel_warms_once_until_the_kettle_boils() {
 async fn the_refractory_period_is_the_next_hold() {
     let app = seeded_with(Floor::Hotel, |run| {
         run.here.wifi_accepted = true;
-        run.body.warmed_up = true;
         run.here.towel_warmed = true;
         run.body.eq = 60;
         run.body.stamina = 0;
@@ -88,7 +86,6 @@ async fn the_refractory_period_is_the_next_hold() {
 #[tokio::test]
 async fn a_refused_jelq_does_not_break_the_edging_streak() {
     let app = seeded_with(Floor::ChangingRoom, |run| {
-        run.body.warmed_up = true;
         run.body.eq = 45;
         run.here.edges = 2;
     });
@@ -107,14 +104,14 @@ async fn a_refused_jelq_does_not_break_the_edging_streak() {
 
 #[tokio::test]
 async fn an_interrupted_edge_keeps_no_gains() {
-    let app = seeded_with(Floor::ChangingRoom, |run| {
-        run.body.warmed_up = true;
-        run.body.eq = 10;
+    let app = seeded_with(Floor::Hotel, |run| {
+        run.here.wifi_accepted = true;
+        run.body.eq = 100;
     });
     let before = send(&app, "GET", "/runs/cafebabe", &[], "").await;
     let girth = header(&before, "x-girth").to_owned();
     let edge = send(&app, "JELQ", "/runs/cafebabe?technique=edge", &[], "").await;
-    assert_eq!(edge.status(), StatusCode::NOT_FOUND);
+    assert!(!edge.status().is_success());
     assert_eq!(header(&edge, "x-girth"), girth);
 }
 
@@ -126,12 +123,10 @@ async fn greed_multiplies_gains_above_the_band() {
         for seed in 0..120u64 {
             let app = app_with(Floor::Bedroom, seed, |run| {
                 run.body.eq = 60;
-                run.body.warmed_up = true;
             });
             let in_band = send(&app, "JELQ", "/runs/cafebabe?technique=wet", &lube, "").await;
             let app = app_with(Floor::Bedroom, seed, |run| {
                 run.body.eq = eq;
-                run.body.warmed_up = true;
             });
             let greedy = send(&app, "JELQ", "/runs/cafebabe?technique=wet", &lube, "").await;
             if in_band.status() != StatusCode::OK || greedy.status() != StatusCode::OK {
@@ -187,7 +182,6 @@ async fn hold_keeps_the_shop_and_the_melon_open() {
 async fn leaving_the_band_warms_the_next_floor() {
     let app = seeded_with(Floor::Bedroom, |run| {
         run.body.eq = 60;
-        run.body.warmed_up = true;
         run.here.turns = 6;
         run.items.lubes.baby_oil = 9;
     });
@@ -255,7 +249,6 @@ async fn queued_gains_announce_their_arrival() {
 #[tokio::test]
 async fn an_energy_drink_ends_exhaustion_without_the_refractory_period() {
     let app = seeded_with(Floor::Bedroom, |run| {
-        run.body.warmed_up = true;
         run.body.eq = 60;
         run.body.stamina = 0;
         run.body.exhausted = true;
@@ -274,3 +267,16 @@ async fn an_energy_drink_ends_exhaustion_without_the_refractory_period() {
     let jelq = send(&app, "JELQ", "/runs/cafebabe?technique=edge", &[], "").await;
     assert_ne!(jelq.status(), StatusCode::TOO_MANY_REQUESTS);
 }
+
+#[tokio::test]
+async fn edging_climbs_out_of_the_cold() {
+    let app = seeded_with(Floor::ChangingRoom, |run| run.body.eq = 20);
+    let edge = send(&app, "JELQ", "/runs/cafebabe?technique=edge", &[], "").await;
+    assert_eq!(edge.status(), StatusCode::OK);
+    assert!(warnings(&edge).iter().all(|w| !w.contains("Cold start")));
+    assert_eq!(
+        header(&edge, "x-friction"),
+        "2/10",
+        "edging pays no cold tax"
+    );
+}

jelq

Commit bf5f8cb6f60f

Commit `bf5f8cb6f60f`