jelq

public

an http based roguelike rpg about jelqing

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Commit `14de3e1e8dc2`

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atagen <boss@atagen.co>2026-10-11 06:26 UTC

7 files changed+141-22

game: refuse the empty bottle before the enemy stirs

lube_available now runs the empty-bottle check before floor_enemy, so a 415 can no longer spend a door lock, reset suspicion or add shame on a turn that never commits. The rupture tiers are exclusive, so the band above the premature line rolls the documented single 1 in 3 instead of a 1 in 10 hot roll stacked underneath it. reset_eq applies the priapism floor to every EQ reset, floor exits, refractory recovery and the watermelon, where only meditation had it.

Modified file: src/game/floors.rs+1−1

@@ -23,7 +23,7 @@ impl Run {

2323 ..FloorState::default()

2424 };

2525 self.warmed_up = false;

26- self.eq = STARTING_EQ;

26+ self.reset_eq(STARTING_EQ);

2727 self.suspicion = 0;

2828 self.shed(FRICTION_FLOOR);

2929 self.mum = None;

Modified file: src/game/hazards.rs+7 additions−5 deletions@@ -33,14 +33,16 @@ impl Run {
         } else {
             0
         };
-        let odds = if self.eq <= DANGER_EQ - burn {
-            RUPTURE_IN_BAND
+        let odds = if self.eq > PREMATURE_EQ - burn {
+            None
+        } else if self.eq <= DANGER_EQ - burn {
+            Some(RUPTURE_IN_BAND)
         } else if self.eq <= HOT_EQ - burn {
-            RUPTURE_WARM
+            Some(RUPTURE_WARM)
         } else {
-            RUPTURE_HOT
+            Some(RUPTURE_HOT)
         };
-        if self.chance(odds) {
+        if odds.is_some_and(|odds| self.chance(odds)) {
             return Err(self.rupture());
         }
         if self.floor.has_window() && !self.items.blinds && self.chance(WINDOW) {

Modified file: src/game/kitchen.rs+1−1

@@ -116,7 +116,7 @@ impl Run {

116116 ));

117117 }

118118 self.here.melon_offered = false;

119- self.eq = 0;

119+ self.reset_eq(0);

120120 self.shame += MELON_SHAME;

121121 self.touch();

122122 if self.chance(CAUGHT_MELONED) {

Modified file: src/game/mod.rs+13 additions−3 deletions@@ -34,8 +34,8 @@ use serde_json::{Value, json};
 
 use crate::problem::Problem;
 use balance::{
-    HONEST_TOLERANCE, MAX_STAMINA, PULLED_STAMINA, SELF_REPORT_INFLATION, STARTING_CASH,
-    STARTING_EQ,
+    HONEST_TOLERANCE, MAX_STAMINA, PRIAPISM_EQ, PULLED_STAMINA, SELF_REPORT_INFLATION,
+    STARTING_CASH, STARTING_EQ,
 };
 use state::Pending;
 
@@ -197,6 +197,16 @@ impl Run {
         self.friction = (self.friction - friction).max(0);
     }
 
+    /// Priapism holds EQ up no matter what else moves it.
+    pub(super) fn reset_eq(&mut self, eq: i32) {
+        let floor = if self.conditions.priapism_turns > 0 {
+            PRIAPISM_EQ
+        } else {
+            0
+        };
+        self.eq = eq.max(floor);
+    }
+
     fn fresh_nonce(&mut self) -> String {
         format!("{:016x}", self.rng.random::<u64>())
     }
@@ -281,7 +291,7 @@ impl Run {
         if self.refractory_until.is_some_and(|until| now >= until) {
             self.refractory_until = None;
             self.stamina = self.max_stamina();
-            self.eq = STARTING_EQ;
+            self.reset_eq(STARTING_EQ);
             self.warmed_up = false;
             self.touch();
         }

Modified file: src/game/turn.rs+20 additions−11 deletions@@ -102,6 +102,7 @@ impl Run {
         self.here.edges = 0;
         self.ready(Technique::Training(training), lube)?;
         self.check_storage()?;
+        self.lube_available(lube)?;
         self.floor_enemy()?;
         self.take_lube(lube)?;
         self.chafe(lube);
@@ -135,6 +136,7 @@ impl Run {
         self.ready(Technique::Training(a), lube)?;
         self.ready(Technique::Training(b), lube)?;
         self.check_storage()?;
+        self.lube_available(lube)?;
         self.floor_enemy()?;
         self.take_lube(lube)?;
         self.chafe(lube);
@@ -258,13 +260,13 @@ impl Run {
     }
 
     /// One unit of whatever was declared. Spit is free and the tap is always on.
-    fn take_lube(&mut self, lube: Option<Lube>) -> Result<(), Problem> {
+    fn lube_available(&self, lube: Option<Lube>) -> Result<(), Problem> {
         let (held, name) = match lube {
             None | Some(Lube::Spit) => return Ok(()),
-            Some(Lube::BabyOil) => (&mut self.items.baby_oil, "baby-oil"),
-            Some(Lube::CoconutOil) => (&mut self.items.coconut_oil, "coconut-oil"),
-            Some(Lube::Lotion) => (&mut self.items.lotion, "lotion"),
-            Some(Lube::Vaseline) => (&mut self.items.vaseline, "vaseline"),
+            Some(Lube::BabyOil) => (&self.items.baby_oil, "baby-oil"),
+            Some(Lube::CoconutOil) => (&self.items.coconut_oil, "coconut-oil"),
+            Some(Lube::Lotion) => (&self.items.lotion, "lotion"),
+            Some(Lube::Vaseline) => (&self.items.vaseline, "vaseline"),
         };
         if *held == 0 {
             return Err(Problem::new(
@@ -273,6 +275,18 @@ impl Run {
                 format!("{name} was declared, but the bottle is empty."),
             ));
         }
+        Ok(())
+    }
+
+    fn take_lube(&mut self, lube: Option<Lube>) -> Result<(), Problem> {
+        self.lube_available(lube)?;
+        let held = match lube {
+            None | Some(Lube::Spit) => return Ok(()),
+            Some(Lube::BabyOil) => &mut self.items.baby_oil,
+            Some(Lube::CoconutOil) => &mut self.items.coconut_oil,
+            Some(Lube::Lotion) => &mut self.items.lotion,
+            Some(Lube::Vaseline) => &mut self.items.vaseline,
+        };
         *held -= 1;
         Ok(())
     }
@@ -482,12 +496,7 @@ impl Run {
             ));
         }
         self.here.meditated = true;
-        let floor = if self.conditions.priapism_turns > 0 {
-            PRIAPISM_EQ
-        } else {
-            0
-        };
-        self.eq = (self.eq - MEDITATION_EQ).max(floor);
+        self.reset_eq(self.eq - MEDITATION_EQ);
         self.shed(FRICTION_MEDITATE);
         self.touch();
         Ok(Outcome::json(

Modified file: src/tests.rs+96 additions@@ -1534,3 +1534,99 @@ async fn a_refused_jelq_leaves_the_lube_alone() {
     let held = body["items"].as_array().unwrap();
     assert!(held.iter().any(|i| i["name"] == "baby-oil"));
 }
+
+#[tokio::test]
+async fn an_empty_bottle_is_declined_before_the_enemy_stirs() {
+    let control = seeded_with(Floor::ChangingRoom, |run| {
+        run.warmed_up = true;
+        run.suspicion = SUSPICION_LIMIT;
+    });
+    let lube = [("content-type", "application/baby-oil")];
+    let caught = send(
+        &control,
+        "JELQ",
+        "/runs/cafebabe?technique=wet&intensity=5",
+        &lube,
+        "",
+    )
+    .await;
+    assert_eq!(caught.status(), StatusCode::UNAVAILABLE_FOR_LEGAL_REASONS);
+
+    let app = seeded_with(Floor::ChangingRoom, |run| {
+        run.warmed_up = true;
+        run.suspicion = SUSPICION_LIMIT;
+        run.items.baby_oil = 0;
+    });
+    let refused = send(
+        &app,
+        "JELQ",
+        "/runs/cafebabe?technique=wet&intensity=5",
+        &lube,
+        "",
+    )
+    .await;
+    assert_eq!(refused.status(), StatusCode::UNSUPPORTED_MEDIA_TYPE);
+    let view = send(&app, "GET", "/runs/cafebabe", &[], "").await;
+    assert_eq!(header(&view, "x-suspicion"), "5/5");
+    assert_eq!(header(&view, "x-shame"), "0");
+}
+
+#[tokio::test]
+async fn the_top_tier_rolls_a_single_third() {
+    let mut ruptures = 0;
+    let mut early = 0;
+    for seed in 0..400u64 {
+        let app = app_with(Floor::Bedroom, seed, |run| {
+            run.warmed_up = true;
+            run.eq = 96;
+            run.items.baby_oil = 9;
+            run.items.blinds = true;
+        });
+        let lube = [("content-type", "application/baby-oil")];
+        let jelq = send(
+            &app,
+            "JELQ",
+            "/runs/cafebabe?technique=wet&intensity=5",
+            &lube,
+            "",
+        )
+        .await;
+        match jelq.status() {
+            StatusCode::INTERNAL_SERVER_ERROR => ruptures += 1,
+            StatusCode::TOO_EARLY => early += 1,
+            other => panic!("seed {seed} ended in {other}"),
+        }
+    }
+    assert!(
+        (90..=175).contains(&ruptures),
+        "ruptures {ruptures} of 400 against {early} early"
+    );
+    assert!(
+        (225..=310).contains(&early),
+        "early {early} of 400 against {ruptures} ruptures"
+    );
+}
+
+#[tokio::test]
+async fn priapism_holds_the_floor_through_every_reset() {
+    let exit = seeded_with(Floor::Bedroom, |run| {
+        run.warmed_up = true;
+        run.eq = 90;
+        run.here.turns = 99;
+        run.conditions.priapism_turns = 3;
+    });
+    let out = send(&exit, "POST", "/runs/cafebabe/floor", &[], "").await;
+    assert_eq!(out.status(), StatusCode::SEE_OTHER);
+    let view = send(&exit, "GET", "/runs/cafebabe", &[], "").await;
+    assert_eq!(header(&view, "x-eq"), "75");
+
+    let melon = seeded_with(Floor::Bedroom, |run| {
+        run.eq = 95;
+        run.here.melon_offered = true;
+        run.conditions.priapism_turns = 2;
+    });
+    let bite = send(&melon, "POST", "/runs/cafebabe/kitchen/watermelon", &[], "").await;
+    assert_eq!(bite.status(), StatusCode::OK);
+    let view = send(&melon, "GET", "/runs/cafebabe", &[], "").await;
+    assert_eq!(header(&view, "x-eq"), "75");
+}

Modified file: src/ui.html+3 additions−1 deletions@@ -60,6 +60,7 @@ const METHODS = ["JELQ", "HOLD", "GET", "HEAD", "POST", "PUT", "PATCH", "DELETE"
 const ALL_LUBES = ["", "application/baby-oil", "application/coconut-oil", "application/lotion", "application/vaseline", "text/plain; charset=spit", "image/jpeg"];
 const DEATHS = ["vascular-event", "caught", "opened", "banned", "degloved", "zip", "watermelon", "run-ended"];
 let stocked = null;
+let inventorySeq = 0;
 const STATS = [
   ["x-floor", "Floor"],
   ["x-self-reported-length", "Self-reported length"],
@@ -396,10 +397,11 @@ function absorb(r, sentMethod, sentPath) {
   if (headers.link) [linked, techniques] = parseLinks(headers.link);
   if (run) {
     const active = run;
+    const seq = ++inventorySeq;
     fetch("/ui/send", { method: "POST", headers: { "Content-Type": "application/json" }, body: JSON.stringify({ method: "GET", path: run + "/inventory", headers: [], body: "" }) })
       .then(r => r.json())
       .then(r => {
-        if (run !== active) return;
+        if (run !== active || seq !== inventorySeq) return;
         try { stocked = (JSON.parse(r.body).items || []).map(i => i.name); render(); } catch (e) {}
       });
   }

jelq

Commit 14de3e1e8dc2

Commit `14de3e1e8dc2`