an http based roguelike rpg about jelqing
| 1 | #[derive(Clone, Copy, PartialEq, Eq, Debug)] |
| 2 | pub enum Item { |
| 3 | WarmTowel, |
| 4 | IcePack, |
| 5 | Ruler, |
| 6 | DoorLock, |
| 7 | DndSign, |
| 8 | Blinds, |
| 9 | Pump, |
| 10 | PumpPro, |
| 11 | Extender, |
| 12 | Ring, |
| 13 | Supplement, |
| 14 | Cage, |
| 15 | CageKey, |
| 16 | Spreadsheet, |
| 17 | TeapotSpout, |
| 18 | BabyOil, |
| 19 | CoconutOil, |
| 20 | Lotion, |
| 21 | Vaseline, |
| 22 | EnergyDrink, |
| 23 | } |
| 24 | |
| 25 | pub const SHOP: [Item; 14] = [ |
| 26 | Item::Pump, |
| 27 | Item::PumpPro, |
| 28 | Item::Extender, |
| 29 | Item::Ring, |
| 30 | Item::Supplement, |
| 31 | Item::DndSign, |
| 32 | Item::Blinds, |
| 33 | Item::Ruler, |
| 34 | Item::IcePack, |
| 35 | Item::CageKey, |
| 36 | Item::BabyOil, |
| 37 | Item::CoconutOil, |
| 38 | Item::Lotion, |
| 39 | Item::Vaseline, |
| 40 | ]; |
| 41 | |
| 42 | impl Item { |
| 43 | pub(super) const ALL: [Self; 20] = [ |
| 44 | Self::WarmTowel, |
| 45 | Self::IcePack, |
| 46 | Self::Ruler, |
| 47 | Self::DoorLock, |
| 48 | Self::DndSign, |
| 49 | Self::Blinds, |
| 50 | Self::Pump, |
| 51 | Self::PumpPro, |
| 52 | Self::Extender, |
| 53 | Self::Ring, |
| 54 | Self::Supplement, |
| 55 | Self::Cage, |
| 56 | Self::CageKey, |
| 57 | Self::Spreadsheet, |
| 58 | Self::TeapotSpout, |
| 59 | Self::BabyOil, |
| 60 | Self::CoconutOil, |
| 61 | Self::Lotion, |
| 62 | Self::Vaseline, |
| 63 | Self::EnergyDrink, |
| 64 | ]; |
| 65 | |
| 66 | pub fn slug(self) -> &'static str { |
| 67 | match self { |
| 68 | Self::WarmTowel => "warm-towel", |
| 69 | Self::IcePack => "ice-pack", |
| 70 | Self::Ruler => "ruler", |
| 71 | Self::DoorLock => "door-lock", |
| 72 | Self::DndSign => "do-not-disturb-sign", |
| 73 | Self::Blinds => "window-blinds", |
| 74 | Self::Pump => "pump", |
| 75 | Self::PumpPro => "pump-pro", |
| 76 | Self::Extender => "extender", |
| 77 | Self::Ring => "cock-ring", |
| 78 | Self::Supplement => "supplement", |
| 79 | Self::Cage => "chastity-cage", |
| 80 | Self::CageKey => "cage-key", |
| 81 | Self::Spreadsheet => "spreadsheet", |
| 82 | Self::TeapotSpout => "teapot-spout", |
| 83 | Self::BabyOil => "baby-oil", |
| 84 | Self::CoconutOil => "coconut-oil", |
| 85 | Self::Lotion => "lotion", |
| 86 | Self::Vaseline => "vaseline", |
| 87 | Self::EnergyDrink => "energy-drink", |
| 88 | } |
| 89 | } |
| 90 | |
| 91 | pub fn parse(slug: &str) -> Option<Self> { |
| 92 | Self::ALL.into_iter().find(|item| item.slug() == slug) |
| 93 | } |
| 94 | |
| 95 | pub fn description(self) -> &'static str { |
| 96 | match self { |
| 97 | Self::WarmTowel => { |
| 98 | "Reusable. Satisfies the warm-up precondition. Use technique=warmup." |
| 99 | } |
| 100 | Self::IcePack => "Cools things sharply. Use technique=ice.", |
| 101 | Self::Ruler => "Measures honestly. The length resource now carries a Content-Length.", |
| 102 | Self::DoorLock => "Keeps your brother out once.", |
| 103 | Self::DndSign => "Works on housekeeping. Mum does not read signs.", |
| 104 | Self::Blinds => "The neighbour has a good camera. The blinds are better.", |
| 105 | Self::Pump => "A pump.", |
| 106 | Self::PumpPro => "Use technique=pump. Gains are temporary.", |
| 107 | Self::Extender => "Passive gains each turn. Takes up room. Can be removed with DELETE.", |
| 108 | Self::Ring => { |
| 109 | "Girth gains doubled. Rupture risk raised. Responses are compressed if you accept gzip. Can be removed with DELETE." |
| 110 | } |
| 111 | Self::Supplement => "Use technique=supplement.", |
| 112 | Self::Cage => "Locked.", |
| 113 | Self::CageKey => "Pump-Bro does not ask.", |
| 114 | Self::Spreadsheet => "Charts your progress. Every line is flat.", |
| 115 | Self::TeapotSpout => "Does nothing. Cannot be dropped.", |
| 116 | Self::BabyOil => "Smooth. +1. One unit per jelq.", |
| 117 | Self::CoconutOil => "+3. Solid until it matters. Suspicious at Nan's.", |
| 118 | Self::Lotion => { |
| 119 | "Handy. +0, and it soaks in fast, so each jelq costs an extra stamina. Soothes a friction burn." |
| 120 | } |
| 121 | Self::Vaseline => "+2. Raises suspicion everywhere.", |
| 122 | Self::EnergyDrink => "technique=energy. +3 stamina. Tastes like a battery.", |
| 123 | } |
| 124 | } |
| 125 | |
| 126 | pub fn pitch(self) -> &'static str { |
| 127 | match self { |
| 128 | Self::PumpPro => "A pump, but professional.", |
| 129 | Self::Extender => "Passive gains every turn. Takes up room.", |
| 130 | Self::Ring => "Doubles girth gains. Pump-Bro does not discuss the risks.", |
| 131 | Self::Supplement => "Clinically formulated. Ships from overseas.", |
| 132 | Self::DndSign => "Housekeeping respects it.", |
| 133 | Self::Blinds => "The neighbour has a good camera.", |
| 134 | Self::Ruler => "Pump-Bro does not recommend it.", |
| 135 | Self::IcePack => "Cold.", |
| 136 | _ => self.description(), |
| 137 | } |
| 138 | } |
| 139 | |
| 140 | pub fn receipt(self) -> &'static str { |
| 141 | match self { |
| 142 | Self::PumpPro => "The box says professional. The pump inside is the same pump.", |
| 143 | Self::Extender => "It is fitted. It will be noticed when you sit down.", |
| 144 | Self::Ring => "It is snug. Pump-Bro still does not discuss the risks.", |
| 145 | Self::DndSign => "The sign is on the handle. Housekeeping can read.", |
| 146 | Self::Blinds => "The blinds are down. Across the street, a lens is lowered.", |
| 147 | Self::Ruler => "Pump-Bro looks away while you use it.", |
| 148 | Self::IcePack => { |
| 149 | "It came out of the chest freezer behind the counter. It is very cold." |
| 150 | } |
| 151 | Self::CageKey => "The cage is open. Pump-Bro does not ask, and neither should you.", |
| 152 | Self::BabyOil => "Pump-Bro buys it in bulk. He does not have a baby.", |
| 153 | Self::CoconutOil => "It is solid. It will not stay that way.", |
| 154 | Self::Lotion => "Unscented, allegedly.", |
| 155 | Self::Vaseline => "Everyone at the counter saw.", |
| 156 | _ => "", |
| 157 | } |
| 158 | } |
| 159 | |
| 160 | pub fn price(self) -> Option<u32> { |
| 161 | match self { |
| 162 | Self::Pump => Some(10), |
| 163 | Self::PumpPro | Self::Extender | Self::CageKey => Some(15), |
| 164 | Self::Ring | Self::Ruler => Some(8), |
| 165 | Self::IcePack => Some(7), |
| 166 | Self::CoconutOil => Some(6), |
| 167 | Self::Supplement | Self::Blinds => Some(5), |
| 168 | Self::BabyOil | Self::Vaseline => Some(4), |
| 169 | Self::DndSign | Self::Lotion => Some(3), |
| 170 | Self::WarmTowel |
| 171 | | Self::DoorLock |
| 172 | | Self::Cage |
| 173 | | Self::Spreadsheet |
| 174 | | Self::TeapotSpout |
| 175 | | Self::EnergyDrink => None, |
| 176 | } |
| 177 | } |
| 178 | } |